The Risk and Reward of Vulnerability
I was recently scheduled to facilitate a full-day in-person workshop at a client’s location. It was a topic I was passionate about, and I had been looking forward to it for weeks. But three days before the session, I lost a dear friend – suddenly and devastatingly. To make matters even more challenging, I was still reeling from the loss of my mother just a month earlier. While my mom’s passing had been somewhat expected due to her ongoing illness and steady decline, it didn’t make it any less painful.
As you can imagine, I wasn’t exactly in the best headspace to be leading a workshop. Beyond the grief, my mind felt scattered. My emotions weighed on me heavily, leaving me emotionally and physically drained.
I gave myself a day to collect my thoughts, check in with my team, and attempt to find some balance. After reflecting on the situation, I made the decision to go ahead with the workshop as planned.
When the day arrived, as I opened the session, I shared what was on my mind. I explained that in the past month, I had lost two important people in my life – my mother, just three weeks ago, and my dear friend, three days ago. I admitted that I was hesitant about facilitating the workshop that day, given the emotional weight I was carrying. But I also shared that both of these individuals had taught me so much about empathy and the importance of being present – two themes that were at the heart of our session. I told them that I was facilitating in honor of their memory. And as I said this, my voice caught for a moment. I could feel the room respond with compassion and understanding, a warmth that was almost tangible.
Despite the crack in my voice, I steadied myself and carried on. The workshop went really well, and I left that day feeling fulfilled, knowing I had offered something valuable while still honoring my grief.
Vulnerability: The Power to Connect
What’s the takeaway here? It’s not that we should always push ourselves to “power through” when we’re grieving or struggling. Sometimes, we need to step back, rest, recover, and give ourselves permission to feel. It’s important to show ourselves compassion and allow time to heal.
What I learned in that moment, however, was the unexpected power of vulnerability. By opening up to the group about my grief and challenges, I allowed myself to connect with them in a deeply human way. It wasn’t about oversharing or letting my personal struggles overshadow the work at hand. It was about being honest and authentic, acknowledging that I was showing up as a whole person, not just a facilitator.
I was mindful of the potential risks – if I had been too overwhelmed or underprepared, the workshop could have suffered. Or, if my vulnerability had been perceived as too much, it could have created discomfort or distanced me from the group. But by carefully and thoughtfully sharing my story, I was able to create a shared moment of empathy that helped us all feel more connected.
In that room, we were humans, each with our own stories, struggles, and emotions.
The Courage to Be Real
Vulnerability is often viewed as a risk – something to avoid, especially in professional settings. We worry about being judged, seen as weak, or losing authority. But, as I learned, it is often through this very openness that we find the most profound connections.
Being vulnerable doesn’t mean abandoning professionalism or control; rather, it means embracing our humanity. It’s acknowledging that we are complex humans with lives and experiences that shape how we show up in the world. It means giving others permission to see us as we truly are – both strong and fragile, both competent and vulnerable.
In the workplace, there’s often pressure to present a flawless image, to remain composed at all times, and to compartmentalize personal emotions from professional ones. But this can leave us feeling isolated. When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, we invite others to do the same. We create a space where people can feel seen and understood, which helps foster trust, collaboration, and growth.
The Reward of Vulnerability
The reward of vulnerability is that it deepens relationships and makes our interactions more genuine. It builds trust. It opens the door to empathy. And it reminds us that we are all navigating our own challenges, even if we don’t always show it.
For me, that workshop was a reminder that, sometimes, the most powerful thing we can do is to show up, imperfect and real. When we lean into vulnerability, we not only honor our own experience but also invite others to bring their full selves into the room.
And, in that moment of shared humanity, we find the courage to move forward – not in spite of our vulnerability, but because of it.
Laura delivered Kwela’s Leading Self with Emotional Intelligence workshop that day.
Laura Villacrusis, Partner
laurav@kwelaleadership.com
