From Frustration to Influence: Expanding Your Leadership Impact
A few weeks ago, I went for routine bloodwork at a newly opened medical lab in my neighbourhood. I had a 9:15 a.m. appointment. I arrived early, expecting efficiency. Instead, I walked into chaos.
About 25 people were packed into a small waiting room. No clear check-in line. Not enough seats. Frustration rising. Staff moving quickly, trying to stay calm. A small sign near reception read, “Please be patient as we implement a new process.”
Tensions escalated. Grumbling grew louder. Thirty minutes in, one of the technicians rang a bell and asked for everyone’s attention. “I’d like to take some photos of what’s happening in here to send to leadership at head office. If you don’t want your face shown, please turn away.”
She took a few photos. Order didn’t magically return, but something shifted. There was a sense that this wasn’t just being endured; it was being addressed. When I was finally called – an hour after my appointment time – I asked whether it had been like this since the Lab’s opening. She explained that things had been running smoothly until a new intake process was implemented.
On my way home, I kept thinking about what she had done. She couldn’t control the new process. She didn’t design it. She couldn’t change it on the spot. But she used her influence.
The Three Circles We All Live In
In any situation, we operate within three circles:
- Circle of Control – what we directly control: our words, actions, mindset, and behaviour.
- Circle of Influence – what we can affect but don’t fully control: relationships, decisions, conversations, outcomes.
- Circle of Concern – everything we care about but cannot control or influence: policies, other people’s choices, external conditions.
When things go wrong, it’s easy to live in the Circle of Concern – complaining, blaming, or disengaging. The technician could have done that. Instead, she stepped into her Circle of Influence. She documented what was happening. She raised awareness. She communicated upward. She acted. That is leadership.
Influence Is Not About Title
We often assume influence belongs to those with authority. But influence is behavioural, not positional. It looks like:
- Speaking up when something isn’t working
- Providing evidence instead of just opinion
- Taking initiative rather than fueling frustration
- Choosing contribution over complaint
The next time I visited the lab, my wait was less than five minutes. I can’t say with certainty that the photos sparked the change, but they may have been the nudge that turned frustration into action.
In every challenging moment, we have a choice. We can focus on what’s outside our control. Or we can ask: Where do I have influence? Leadership isn’t about rank. It’s about where we place our energy. And sometimes, it starts with ringing a bell in a crowded waiting room.
Kwela’s Influencing Skills workshop offers participants the chance to learn techniques on how to best influence others using real-life case studies.
Helen Schneiderman, Partner
helens@kwelaleadership.com
